Overheard at My House During March Madness

Me:  "This is very cool.  Mom!  Come and watch this!"

Mom:  "What?"

Me: "This is multi-view!  I can watch more than one basketball game at one time."

Mom:  "Oh, joy.  I'm going to go watch Runway.  Don't bother me."

Me: (to the cats) "Wait.  How does this work?  Have you seen the instructions?  Why are you just watching me and not helping with this technological crisis?!"

Cats: "We are going to go watch Runway.  Do not bother us, human."

Me:  "Wait, I think I've got it.  Hey, Mom!  I figured it out!  Come and see!"

Mom:  (faint voice) "Stop bothering me!  I'm watching Runway."

Me:  "Unappreciative...no, no, no!  Why do I never pick Gonzaga?  I am a fool."

Me: "Woo-hoo!  VCU!  Woo-hoo!  WOO-HOO!"

Mom:  "Keep it down in there!"

Me: "Wow, that's ugly.  I mean, seriously, seriously ugly.  Ick.  How can they win a game like that?  Mom!  Come here!  Quick, quick!"

Mom: (entering the room) "What is it now?"

Me:  "Look!"

Mom:  "What?"

Me:  "The uniforms!  On the Baylor team.  What were they thinking?"

Mom:  "If you yell at me to come into this room one more time, and it's about basketball, I will break all of your fingers.  Idiot."

[next day]

Me:  "What!  No, no, no, no!  Mom!  Mom!"

Mom:  "I'm not coming out there!"

Me:  (going into her room) "A pigeon flew into the door!  It hit hard.  I think this is an omen.  A bad omen."

Mom:  "Poor birdy."

Me:  (upon returning to the living room)  "Argh!  You hateful pigeon!  Missouri lost, and it's all your fault! My bracket is busted, busted!"

Mom:  (faint voice) "It's not because of the bird.  It's because you missed Runway.  Idiot."

Cats:  "We would like the pigeon, please.  Fetch it for us, human, or feel our wrath."

Me: "My bracket is busted; I cannot indulge your savagery."

Cats:  "You should have watched Runway.  Idiot."