The Week's Funniest Facebook Statuses

Er, I think the title is self-explanatory, but this has been a very strange week in my facebook feed, gentle readers, and I just had to share some of the crazy with you.  All status updates taken completely out of context, of course:

1. Gettin' my hair cut!   
2. Winning a $140 lotion for coming to training camp? 
3. There are times I wish I were an archaeologist!! Or a badger.
4.  I do not sweat well.
5.  Someone please send this clueless bastard to my house, that I may bite him in the kneecaps repeatedly and without mercy.
6. What I'm trying to find out, for real, is if it's too early to go to bed. 
7. Ugh is this all we have this is godly shampoo I can't use this
8.  I just bought a small printing press. I believe I am dammed for all eternity. 
9. Is there Puppy and Me yoga?
10. Ferrets are sweet and soft, folks!