Sunday, June 1, 2014

Real Conversation with Mom: A Deli-cate Situation

Mom:  "I'm still mad at that guy who cut the cheese."

Me:  "Um..what?"

Mom:  "That guy who cut the cheese!  He stood there for half an hour, doing it over and over to get it just right.  I wanted to smack him."

Me:  "Maybe you should have called him a doctor."

Mom:  "What the hell are you talking about?!  He was cutting the cheese!"

Me:  "Half an hour is a long time to perform that bodily function."

Mom:  "What are you talking about?"

Me:  "What are you talking about?"

Mom:  "The guy who cut my cheese at the deli."

Me:  "Oh.  I thought it was some random guy farting."

Mom:  "Farting?"

Me:  "You know, cutting the cheese?"

Mom:  "Great.  Now there are two people I want to slap today."