Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Guest Post: Linguistic Confusion

Greetings, precious readers!  While I have been in mourning, some of you have been very funny, and two of you have been so funny that you have become my second guest bloggers--hurray!

So here is a transcribed conversation that has been making me giggle all morning, accompanied by illuminating footnotes for those of you who are not nerd enough to get the joke.  Enjoy!

A Guest Post by A Friend of the Blog

Her: I just think we should all go back to speaking Akkadian*. After all, it was the first language of commerce.
Me: I'm sorry what? Acadian** was the first language of commerce? When?
Her: You know, back in the BCs.
Me: Whaaaaat on earth are you on about? Nobody spoke Acadian two thousand years ago!
Her: Sure they did. And the best part was that by the time their language had become the language of trade, their own empire had faded. So the language lived on long after the people themselves were gone.
Me: You think there was an Acadian EMPIRE now? WHERE?
Her: You know, in the Levant.

Me: Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhh. Never mind.


*An ancient language spoken in Mesopotamia
**A variety of French spoken primarily in Canada

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Mom's Top Thirty

As most of my readers know, I lost Mom recently, and as all of my readers know, Mom was a dear and precious delight.  In her honor, I have created this list of my favorite appearances of Mom on this blog.  Note that while some of you get a Top Ten, Mom gets a Top Thirty, as she was three times funnier than the rest of us.

Mom's Top Thirty Appearances on This Blog


  1. The first "Real Conversation with Mom"
  2. New Year's Eve
  3. The Refrigerator
  4. Real Questions from Mom
  5. Specific Instructions from Mom
  6. Mom Takes a Stand
  7. More Shoe Issues
  8. The Rain
  9. Watching People Work
  10. Watching the Diving
  11. Football and Cute Hats
  12. Watching the Today Show
  13. Excerpts from Finals Week
  14. Big Bang Theory
  15. The Power Outage
  16. At the Local Diner
  17. Respectability
  18. Academic Rank
  19. Something Behind the Castle
  20. A Firm Opinion
  21. Grammar
  22. All in her Mind
  23. Poof!
  24. Mustangs
  25. Copycat Decorations
  26. The Oscars
  27. Rock in Roll
  28. Mother's Day Gifts
  29. The Mail
  30. Star Wars

Monday, April 10, 2017

A Passionate Conversation

You know these reddit memes that people send around with really funny comments, dear readers?  Well, my facebook feed had a really funny thread, and here it is (names deleted corrected to protect the passionate):

A Passionate Conversation on my Facebook Feed

Cool Dude: Impactful is not a word. Just sayin '.

Extremely Cool Woman: It's in MW unabridged. It's a word. You don't have to like it, but it's definitely a word.

Extremely Cool Woman, Yet Again: I AM A STAUNCH DESCRIPTIVIST WITH PMS FROM HELL. COME AT ME, BRO

Cool Dude: OK fine. But it is a crappy word. So there.

Extremely Cool Woman, Somewhat Calmer: I'll accept that

Possible Fewmet*-Stirrer: I prefer "impactrocious."

Possible Fewmet-Stirrer, again: Or the more conservative "impactronic."

Dude with Alarmingly Excited Photo: I AM A LINGUIST. TELL ME WHAT A WORD IS, NON-LINGUIST.

Extremely Cool Woman, Now in Her Element: (oh no! the descriptivists' bike gang is coming for J with bike chains a-swinging!)

Cool Dude Who Is Uncool with Both "Impactful" and Proper Swear Words: Some words should be sent straight to heck. All variations on the word impact should be banished. I blame newscasters.

Unexpected Visitor: I don't love the word "impactful" but I super don't love realfarmacy dot com.

Definite Fewmet-Stirrer:  Natalie Grinnell, the following needs to make it into your funniest-people-on-facebook dealie: I AM A STAUNCH DESCRIPTIVIST WITH PMS FROM HELL. COME AT ME, BRO


And as it was posted, so shall it be.

*A word which means "dragon dung," and, in this medievalist's opinion, is far more eloquent than "impactful."